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I Wasn't Aware I Was Asleep Until I Woke Up

I've been wearing shackles for years and haven't realized it until a few days ago. For years I've been molding myself into someone I could barely recognize. The changes were slow and minute. So tiny that I didn't realize I was shoving myself into a box ten sizes too small.

It wasn't until I broke things off with a man entirely inappropriate for me (he was a good man, but we lived astronomically different lives). And until a coworker told me my legs weren't fat- something I've believed forever (but that's a story for another time), I woke up.

I woke up and saw myself standing at the foot of a mountain. A mountain I was free to climb at whatever pace I chose. For the past three years, I have been rushing through my life trying to meet unattainable and unrealistic goals. All while attempting to be someone decades older than my actual age.

These self-implemented weights and restraints made me forget what it was like to act my age. To the point, I don't even know how a 24-year-old is supposed to act. But I will find out. My curiosity for life is new-found, and I am eager to connect with myself. I am excited about what this new chapter in life will have in store for me. A feeling I've never felt before.

I've learned firsthand that life is filled with twists and unexpected turns. Though I no longer feel the need to run from them but face them head-on.

I have no idea how long this feeling of courage will last, but I will make sure to savor it for as long as it does. I can promise you that.

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